Friends.. and the people who call themselves such.

Today I am going to rant a little about friends.. you know the people who place in our lives with the hopes that they will add something to your days and existence and make your life more complete.

but what about the ones that act like your friend but really just aren't..


You know the ones, we all have them.. the ones that always ask your advice yet never take it, the ones that are so busy hiding behind their fake shown to the world persona that you never really know who they are, but when you finally do realize it you are left feeling.. well a whole lot disillusioned that they were so manipulative you didn't see past the "nice" person you thought they were.
 Or maybe the ones that find friends not cause they like you per say but they like themselves so little that they are simply looking for a new personality to emulate, a new person to become until they find a new person to become. Uh.. how about being yourself.. if you even know who you are? and of course the "when it's good for me" friend... like when they can fit you in ( usually when they need gossip , bored or yup, want something)

I'm going to start with the "askholes" the ones that ask, want advice and help and no matter what you tell them.. they do what they want to anyhow cause hey, you didn't waste your time giving them advice or anything.

These people always are in a state of overwhelmed, they take on too much, get in over their heads then when need help wont take it. These people constantly pick your brain, make you feel bad for them so you help and then slap you in the face by not even attempting to do what you suggest. Then look at you when it all goes wrong for help cause they only did part of what you suggested and didnt follow through.


Next we have the "goody two shoes" this is the one that acts all nice, and proper and you watch what you say around them because you don't want to offend them but then find out.. it was all an act. They aren't so "good" after all. 
In fact sometimes you may find that they are worse than you. And although you can prove it thanks to other people who do know, you keep quiet to save other friendships and you being a good friend wouldnt want to hurt someone you care about.
They lie (not very well either which is how they get found out over time) they do things in their lives that they hide from friends and family because it would tarnish the image they want to portray to the world..but when you find out these little nuggets of info you look at them completely different and no longer moderate yourself when you talk to them, I mean why should you.. fake people have an image to maintain real people don't give a shit. 
I like not giving a shit personally.. I guess that means I am comfortable who who I am as a grown ass woman I swear, I drink, I laugh at inappropriate things and you know what, I'm good with that and if people don't like it then well... bye


This brings me to the "emulator" the one that probably is the "fake friend too" the one that the more you know them the more they become like you, your style, your hobbies, tries to out-do you, can't seem to think on their own nor do they know who they are ( probably from so many years of pretending to be what they aren't).
 At first you may be flattered that they take up things you are interested in because hey, then you have something to talk about, but then you see the same hair, clothes, way of speaking, all your interests are now theirs and you begin to wonder "would you like me to step aside and just let you have my personality and just be me, cause there is NOT room on the planet for two of me.
 BUT never ever make the mistake of saying anything to anyone about it bothering you cause it'll get back to them and then they'll start acting like a twatwaffle. 
These people you deal with by simply moving on to the next style, next idea, next hobby... let them have it  if they want it so bad.. this is the great thing about being the emulated, clearly YOU are the one with the good ideas and have plenty of them and the talent to go along with it.


Which brings us to the "convenience store brand" of friend. The one that only talks to you when there's nothing better to do, no one else to talk to, need to be filled in on whats new and keep tabs on you. 
These people aren't really your friend but possibly an enemy in disguise.. you know the saying.. keep your friends close keep your enemies closer, but they suck at it. It's hard to maintain a friendship (if you call it that) when all you are doing is digging for info and idle chit chat. These people dont care about your problems, in fact deep down they are overjoyed when bad stuff happens to you and don't care when there's great things, they get pleasure from your misfortune. 
These people will only contact you when it's convenient if you try to make contact when they have something to do they will ignore you until the "right" time then make contact.
Quite often these people talk badly about their friends and family and judge them..  for the same shit they do in private no less. Then accuse their friends of not being around.. uh, hmm, wonder why? I only stick around because I feel like I am being forced to...
So you know if they talk shit about people they "love" you know they talk about you.. sometimes you are even fortunate enough to get told they talk about you and criticize you but for the very things you know they do themselves but no one else knows that. You being the bigger person does not retaliate but if you ever did you could blow their world apart with your knowledge.


But then.. there is this select group of people you call friends.. yes I do have some, it's a VERY small close knit group of about 6 that ARE friends. These are the ones you complain to about these other listed above friends. The friends that at any given time if you need them.. you know for certainty they are going to be there. The ones that will hate someone that wronged you without knowing them but on principal that they hurt someone they care about.
These are the people who remember special dates, fears, dislikes and remind you of things you need to do that you forgot. They never lie to you or hold back.
The ones you share everything with without fear of judgement, gossip, hostility.
These are the people that you can call crying over something silly and they do not find it silly at all and if they do they dont make fun of you or make jokes, they simply tell you.. that's fucking stupid snap out of it!!
These are the nes that can decipher chocking sobs that should be words and know just what to say. The ones that when you need them they dont check to see if they have time even if they should be somewhere. The ones that YOU try to be like, they are the friend to you that you are to them.. theres nothing else.. a common love, and friendship and respect you get from no one else in the world. 
The friend that can say nothing at all but you know they heard every word you said and when they ask you your opinion they want it and will take your advice because they respected you and your infinite wisdom enough to ask for it, and the same goes with them, if they tell you to do something you try to..

This last group of people TRUE friends is who I plan to surround myself with from now on. No more "askholes" no more "fakers" no more "emulators" no more "convenience"

Just friends, who enrich our lives, make us better people for knowing them and make every single day worth living.
MY true friends know who they are.